Example: Q: Do you have any pain? A: When can I leave so I can meet my friends on safari in Africa?
So he hadn't peed the whole time in the ER so we bladder scanned him, a painless completely external procedure. He had almost a liter in his bladder but had no desire to try to pee. So the doctor asked us to place a catheter. No this is never fun for anyone but even less so with a patient who is delusional, irrational, thrashing around, and potentially violent.
So I agree to hold his arms and try to calm him down while the aide put it in. The whole time he is saying random stuff but right at the end this was the conversation:
Pt: What are you doing?
Me: We are putting in a catheter, we need to do this because you have so much urine in your bladder and that's dangerous.
Pt: My dad, the president, George Bush, wouldn't want you to do this to me
Me: You really need this and, yes, George Bush would want you to have this catheter.